What Happens in a Mediation Session? A Step-by-Step Guide.
If you have never been through mediation before, it is completely normal to feel unsure about what to expect. Mediation is designed to give people a structured, confidential way to discuss a dispute and explore whether an agreement can be reached without going straight to court or allowing the conflict to escalate.
While every case is different, most mediation sessions follow a broadly similar process. Here is what usually happens, step by step.
Step 1: Attend a MIAM
The first stage is usually a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). A MIAM is a private meeting between you and a family mediator. The other person does not attend your MIAM with you. During the meeting, the mediator will explain how family mediation works and give you an opportunity to talk about your circumstances and the issues you would like to resolve.
The mediator will also assess whether mediation is suitable for your situation and discuss any concerns that could affect how mediation takes place.
A MIAM does not commit you to mediation. It is an opportunity to understand your options and decide on an appropriate way forward. In many cases, attending a MIAM is also required before making certain applications to the Family Court, although exemptions can apply.
Step 2: The Other Person Is Invited to Attend Their Own MIAM
If it is appropriate to do so, the mediator can contact the other person and invite them to attend their own individual MIAM. Their meeting is also private. This gives both people the opportunity to understand the mediation process and speak independently with the mediator before any mediation sessions take place.
Once the necessary assessments have been completed, the mediator can consider whether the case is suitable to proceed to mediation.
Step 3: Agreeing How the Mediation Will Take Place
If mediation is suitable and both of you are willing to proceed, the mediator will discuss how the sessions should be arranged. You do not necessarily have to sit in the same room as the other person.
Depending on the circumstances, mediation may take place face-to-face or online. In some cases, shuttle mediation may be appropriate, where each person remains separate and the mediator moves between them. The aim is to create an environment in which both people can participate effectively and discussions can take place constructively.
Step 4: Your First Mediation Session
At the beginning of the first mediation session, the mediator will explain how the process will work and establish the framework for your discussions.
It is important to understand that the mediator is impartial. They do not represent either person, decide who is right or wrong, or tell you what the outcome should be. Their role is to help you communicate, identify the issues that need resolving and explore possible ways forward.
You will both have an opportunity to explain what matters to you and what you would like the mediation to address.
Step 5: Identifying What Needs to Be Resolved
Every family is different, so the issues discussed in mediation will depend on your circumstances.
For parents, discussions might include:
where the children will live;
how and when they will spend time with each parent;
school holidays and special occasions;
communication between parents; and
practical arrangements concerning the children.
Where finances are involved, discussions may include:
the family home;
savings and investments;
pensions;
debts and liabilities;
income and expenditure; and
other financial assets or responsibilities.
The mediator will help you identify the issues that need to be dealt with and give the discussions a clear structure.
Step 7: Exploring Your Options
Once the issues are clear and the necessary information is available, you can begin exploring possible solutions.The mediator helps you consider different options and discuss what might work for your family.
This may involve looking at several possibilities rather than immediately trying to settle on one answer. The mediator will help keep discussions focused and constructive, but the decisions remain yours. A mediator does not impose an outcome on either person.
You may also choose to obtain independent legal advice alongside mediation so that you understand the legal implications of any proposals being considered.
Step 8: Reaching Proposals
If you are able to reach proposals through mediation, the mediator can record what has been discussed and agreed.
For arrangements concerning children, this may involve producing a written record of the proposals you have reached.
For financial matters, the mediator may prepare documents recording your financial information and the proposals reached during mediation.
It is important to understand that reaching proposals in mediation does not automatically make them legally binding.. Where appropriate, you can take independent legal advice and the proposals may then be used as the basis for a legally binding agreement or court order.